November 9, 2013

7 Quick Takes #3: On the First Month of Marriage

Learning to Live (and sleep) Together

It’s hard to believe we’ve been married one month already!  The first month has brought with it many blessings, a lot of change, and things I didn’t really expect… like learning how to sleep with my husband.  No really, we are trying to figure out how to sleep in the same bed.  We’ve both been used to sleeping in a full size bed alone, and we are quickly discovering that’s not enough space for the both of us. Blanket Hog is not something I expected to hear in married life, but alas, I am a robber of covers, causing my husband to lose sleep :-p.  Oh the drama.

Solution?  Queen air mattress in the living room.  A temporary solution until we make it over to the mattress store.  Oh the adventurous life of newlyweds :-p

NFP.  Stuff just got real.  

I’ve been using Natural Family Planning for the past three years.  I started charting before I even met Michael, and now that we’re married NFP is even more awesome.

Thank you iusenfp.com ๐Ÿ™‚

It’s one thing to talk about NFP as an abstinent single woman before marriage, it’s a whole other thing to start charting as a couple and really trying to be open to whatever God has planned for us.  “NFP-ing” together has been a great gift in our first month of marriage.  It has given me an even deeper appreciation for my husband and my fertility.  This has also been an opportunity to practice what I preach.  As spouses we are called to openness to life.  We said “yes” when my Deacon Daddy asked us “Will you accept children lovingly from God…” and we meant it.  And as we continue to chart, I think we are realizing that this is so much more than a way to “postpone or achieve pregnancy”; it is an invitation to pray about God’s plan for our family on a regular basis. I know that NFP-ing isn’t always going to be easy, but that’s why we need the grace of the sacrament!

Marriage is not for me or my husband…

I was one of the millions of people who liked and shared the “Marriage Isn’t for You” blog post by Seth Adam Smith that went viral this week.  I really liked what Seth had to say, and it was a wonderful reminder of what Michael and I signed up for a month ago.  But I also really liked Jeremy’s blog Response which brought it all together:  Marriage isn’t about you, OR your spouse… it’s for God

In my Theology of the Body presentations for engaged couples over the years we spend a lot of time discussing why marriage is a sacrament and what that actually means.  God’s love is free, total, faithful, and fruitful and as spouses we are called to witness that love to each other and to the world.  This is not about spending the rest of our lives trying to satisfy the deepest longings of our spouse’s heart and make them happy all the time.  That’s impossible.  God alone can satisfy the soul’s ache, and our job as spouses is to lead one another closer to himThis is one of my favorite Catechism quotes that seems to capture this well:

“The ‘natural desire’ for happiness…is of divine origin: God has placed it in the human heart in order to draw man to the One who alone can fulfill it.”- CCC no. 1718

Humility.
Honestly, amongst all of the wonderful things that comes with being a newlywed, humility is one of those things God is helping me learn whether I like it or not.  I’ve talked and taught about marriage/TOB/NFP/etc… for the past three years as part of my job.  I think God had me in marriage preparation long before we were engaged because He knows how stubborn and hard headed Deanna can be.  The best way to learn is to teach… but it is one thing to teach it, it’s another thing to live it on a daily basis.  That’s where that grace kicks in. I’ve got a long way to go, but it’s so nice to know that both God and my husband are going to love me unconditionally ๐Ÿ™‚
She cooks!
Michael is the real cook in this relationship, but this past week I stepped up my game and made dinner and a dessert (for those who know me, this is kind of a big deal ๐Ÿ™‚ ).  We had a wedding reception at our parish last weekend and so I made Pumpkin Cream Cheese Cupcakes.  Yum.  The first couple of batches weren’t so pretty, but by round 3 I was baking like a boss.  

Last night I tried my hand at this Roasted Garlic Chicken Penne recipe minus the roasted bell peppers.  It actually turned out really well and I’m surprised at how much I enjoy cooking.  My next goal is to start cooking healthier and to also put our brand new crockpot to work.  The only thing I made in it so far is a bean casserole soup, but I’m ready to step out of my comfort zone and try something new!  If you have any favorite (easy) crockpot recipes please share!!
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This is a picture of us making our way back to our group after getting Pope-handed.  I’d just like to note that my husband is a stud.  That is all ๐Ÿ™‚

I love my husband.  No Really.  I love him.   

In my single days I remember seeing Facebook posts from friends that said cheesy things like “I love my husband!”  or “I have the best husband everrrr!” and think Ok we got it… Thanks for sharing… But I have to admit that there are days when I just want to burst in the room like:

Sure, I realize we’ve only been married a month, and this “honeymoon phase” will end.  And yes, there have been moments when he is not my favorite person to be around… but I love him!  It’s not just that he is super smart, funny, a great cook and handyman, etc… but he is helping me get to heaven.  This is the start of a great adventure. ๐Ÿ™‚

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