February 16, 2016

On Not Finishing Everything Before *30*

p a x

Two weeks ago I turned 30 years old.
That’s right.  The big 3-0.  No longer a twenty-something…just thirty.  Gasp! 
Surprisingly, I’m OK.  I survived the transition.  The clump of gray hairs on the top of my head seems a little more shiny than usual, but other than that I’m OK.
As my birthday came closer, people asked the same typical question, “So…how are you feeling about turning THIRTY?”  I responded with the typical “Eh…”  I mean sure, saying the word “thur-tee” leaves a slightly sour taste in my mouth, but I think that’s mostly because 30 used to seem so far away.  And now here it is… with no where for me to run.

Yet there was also a very satisfying feeling about jumping into this new decade.  It wasn’t like I lived under a rock for the last ten years.  A lot of life happened in the past decade.  A lot of GOD happened in the past decade.  
Some time after I had turned 20 I made the obligatory “Before I’m 30” list.  I decided to go looking for it in my box of journals because I know that there are things that I can definitely mark off the list, such as: 
  • Travel to a Spanish speaking country (Studied in Costa Rica 2007 & lived in Mexico for a year)
  • Help someone become Catholic (RCIA sponsor in 2012)
  • Discern my vocation (Got married 10/5/2013)
  • Travel to Rome & have an audience with the Pope (Best. Honeymoon. Ever.)
There were others on there that I know I didn’t complete such as Publish a book, but I did write an 85 page thesis for my MA Theology degree in 2014, so maybe that can count? ๐Ÿ™‚  
It isn’t uncommon for people to have a Bucket List, or just a “things I want/need to get done” within X number of years.  Whether it’s things we want to do before we graduate from college, before marriage or kids, or things we want to get done before the next decade sneaks up on us, it’s not a bad thing to have goals that motivate and inspire us.

My 20th Birthday…
Taking Selfies before it was cool.

But sometimes when that deadline arrives it can be tempting to only focus on what we haven’t accomplished.  As my birthday got closer it was really hard not to think about the fact that I’m not 30-50lbs lighter (hellooo baby weight + the lbs I never lost in my 20s).  I have an incredible list of things that I can be proud of and thankful for, but for some reason it was really tempting to only focus on how I failed to reach a certain number on the scale.

Maybe someone else is disappointed that they never traveled as much as they wanted, or mastered a certain skill, or figured out their vocation in life yet.  That’s OK.  Just because we don’t do all the things in the time frame that we imagine for ourselves doesn’t necessarily mean that we’ve wasted time or that we’ve failed at being a successful 20 or 30 something.

God is still at work.  For all that we don’t mark off the lists, there are so many other things that, when we really take the time to think about it,  God has done in our lives.

I haven’t been able to find my official “Before 30” list, but as I went through my old journals it reaffirmed what I shared several months ago:  In the darkest moments, God was at work.  In the happiest moments, God was at work.  When I was wrestling with God and discerning my vocation, God was at work.  When I felt like my plans were completely falling apart, God was most definitely at work.
 

If God can do all that in my 20s, then I’m certain that my 30s are going to be full of more surprises and adventures.  I’ll probably make a “Before 40” list in case God needs any ideas, but I already know God’s plans will be better and more fulfilling than what I can dream up for myself.   

No matter where you are in life, no matter how many things you have or haven’t marked off your list, remember that God loves you too much to let you stay the same.  Our lives are more than a series of “Things to Do”.  God has a plan and a purpose for each of us, no matter our age or state in life.  

be at peace
walk on water
be not afraid

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